Brittany has had it in Colorado. Her job that she has had for a month still has not paid her. There is something fishy there, as they were investigating, and then said it was basically her fault since her name is not on the apt lease where they are living. So, what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?? She is frustrated because they haven't had enough money to cover their bills, and buy food, and their hosts are getting edgy and hostile. The heat went out in the apt, and the hosts hid the space heaters. Nice, huh?? She has been living on bread. I feel bad for her, but Bill and I agreed not to bail her out of anything while she on her self destructive path.
She is lonely. She knows a girl from our stake who married and moved up there and they are twenty minutes apart. But the girl works full time, and has a husband. While she loves Brittany, and they have always been good friends, she can't devote the time B needs. Other than that, she has Ty. He is working 12 hour shifts at the music store, but the money is not too great as he depends on commissions, and the economy is slushy.
She has been calling or texting me everyday for the last couple of weeks. She is still on our phone plan, so her calling is free. We decided to keep her there so we didn't lose total touch with her. It does annoy me when we call her, and Ty has taken her phone to work, and is rude to the kids because they interrupted him. He lost his phone, and since we are paying, I think he should at least be grateful he has access to one. I hate being bothered at work too, but there is a polite way to handle it and alienating the payers of one of your bills is not the way. None of the kids care for him much. He has done it to himself, by encouraging their sister to leave, and then controlling their access to her.
So, she called Monday and said Ty's dad said they could move back in with him. As soon as they have a few dollars for gas, they are headed home. I am hoping she means it this time, as the last time she got my hopes up, she decided to head to Colorado. It was all an adventure at that point, and I think the thrill has gone.
I think spending the holidays in a strange place, with strange people was hard on her. We are strange, too, but at least a familiar strange. Then not being able to come for Arik's funeral was too much. I wish I had had the money to send for her. But we didn't. It all comes down to agency and consequences. That is something she can never get back, and she will regret for a long time. I also think it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
She wanted to be independent, and be an adult. I think she realizes she went about it in the wrong way. I think she has gained some experience points in the game of life.
What does God say about you?
6 years ago
2 comments:
I hope things work out soon.
It can be so hard watching our children grow up in directions we would not choose for them! I don't know which is worse,knowing what they are up to or NOT knowing what they are up to.
We can only keep loving them (but as you wisely decided, not enabling them - it's hard to know when and what!) and praying for the day they remember the truths we tried to teach them. Especially, the Atonement.
I often think that it is not always much fun being Heavenly Father and watching us go off in in defiance of His counsel. Sometimes even with eternal perspective. Sometimes maybe especially with eternal perspective.
Blessings on you and yours.(and me and mine)
Oh Pam, I hope she comes home. I can't believe how strong you have been to not bail her out. There aren't many parents that would do that these days. It's a hard thing to do, I know, and you and Bill may have struggled at times with your decision and have had much anxiety over everything, but from where I sit, far far away from you and not really knowing all that much about your family, you have a done the right thing. Many PPT for her safe return!
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