I am not doing well.

The funeral was yesterday. It was a beautiful service, the chapel was packed and the overflow needed, and everything went off well. I gave the eulogy and everyone laughed in the right spots, nad were quiet appropriately. It was the worst day of my life. I am tired of the family drama. Out of twelve cousins AJ had, I only spotlighted his best buddy, my sister's son. A cousin of mine felt slighted that her daughter, a rarely seen second cousin, wasn't mentioned. Hey, I didn't mention any of my kids either....didja notice?? This was for Mom, not you. Let someone else have the spotlight this time. Same cousin horned in on the family table, too. Really. Mom and dad have three daughters and 13 grandkids. There wasn't enough room for all of us, definitely not for you.

Emotionally I am a wreck. We ran to the store to get trash bags. Ran into a girl I have always counted as a good friend. She knows what I have been thru this week, and even though I am trying to put it behind me and move on, I am still teary, and need a friend. I feel so lonely right now. She was right out rude, and really hurt me.Bill was with me, so I am not being over wrought or hysterical. He was surprised by her behavior, too.

I am thinking of staying home from church tomorrow. Except, my co teacher already told me she had a barrel race today, and wouldn't be up to teaching. Hello?? Your barrel racing is your job and your everyday life. My life has been turned upside down and shaken good.

Edited to add, Friend in grocery store had no idea. Bill had said she told someone else, who called with condolences, and he got the name wrong. Friend was embarrassed by her insensitivity. Had I not been such an emotional mush, the encounter would not have been rude at all. She said she was late to a funeral at the time, and in normal circumstances, I would have had an amused indulgence.