Sometimes, it is no help

I am sure there are times when people look on a situation, and think they know the best way to handle it. Many times they do not have all the pieces of the puzzle, and their 'help' is not welcome. We have encountered this this week.

Cory was released from probation on the 27th of May. The state of CA had forgiven him, and we had forgiven him. We were waiting to hear from Job Corps, or we are looking into other options. We realize he can't live here, but he was staying with us in the meantime with the blessing of the juvenile judge and his lawyer. We also had safety measures in place, even though we trust him. But, would you leave the keys to the liquor cabinet with a recovering alcoholic?? I hate using a drinking analogy, but it fits.

He was here for three weeks, when we got a knock on our door late Wednesday night. Like 10:30 late. It was CPS and the cops. Someone had called them that Cory was home again. I was stunned and upset. Bill was panicked. CPS was prepared to take our other kids that night. They had brought a police issued mini van. WHAT??! I explained that the judge had said that he had paid his punishment, and there was no reason he could not come home. Are you going to tell me that you are going to override the judge. She just pooh pooh'ed me and said the minutes from that day only state that his probation was terminated, and he was released into his own custody. I told her that his record was going to be sealed when he is 21. She agreed, he is not a threat. He could live here as long as he wanted. But, go get shoes and wake the other five kids. I got angry and said "You are NOT taking my kids!!" Can you imagine the horror??

In desperation, I tried to call my mom. She is deaf in one ear and sleeps on her good ear to ensure a good nights sleep. No luck there. Keep in mind we have been trying for a year to find somewhere for him to go. And now we were under the gun in the middle of the night.

I called Brittany, and she said he could come for the night. She lives with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's father in a four bedroom house not far from my mom and grandmother. Bill loaded Cory and his stuff into the car, and left while CPS was still here.

The next day, I had to do DC over at the DC's house. As with any job, it is not cool to spend the day on the phone. I had no choice. I got a hold of my mom finally and told her the situation, and pleaded for her to ask Oma if he could stay there. Oma has gone back and forth whether or not she wants him there. She was all for it while Opa was alive, and when he could actually help. But, she did say yes. Meanwhile, Brittany called a few times, reminding me that she didn't plan on having him all day. Umm, 1, he is your brother.2, we have bent over backwards for you, and you can't help me in return??and 3, I am trying my hardest while trying to do my job at the same time. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, I just didn't want the MIL to say later "Pam was on the phone all day...."

So, for now, he is at Oma's. I blamed his PO because the timing was too perfect. He had asked the day before about Cory and how he was doing. I also wanted it to be the PO because otherwise, someone close to me had betrayed me. Only a few know the whole story. Most got the "He is living with his grandmother" story.

So, whoever called, did not know what the judge or the lawyer had said. Or they did not care. They just had a sense of righteous indignation, and set out to do something about it. I have an idea who it was. I hope they never have anyone be so myopic when looking at their life.


We put in an application for a house around the corner. No point in going far til we want to buy, then we can relocate if needed. In a way, it would be great to start over where no one knows what we have been thru. I called and left a message, so hopefully I will hear soon on how it goes.